


Insecurities || WooSan

by san_shine_ee



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Light Angst, M/M, No Plot/Plotless, One Shot, References to Depression, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:55:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23563411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/san_shine_ee/pseuds/san_shine_ee
Summary: In which San is the only one to know about Wooyoung's insecurities, plastered all along deep down his soul.
Relationships: Choi San/Jung Wooyoung
Comments: 2
Kudos: 40





	Insecurities || WooSan

With the sound of edgy shoe soles scratching along the wooden ground, letting out an awfully screeching cry of disharmony between the two colliding materials, the ever so passionate dancer's leg drifted away from the rest of his body, breaking out of the perfect movement's silhouette the latter managed to form just too easily by letting himself get lost in the music that echoed through his whole body, his limbs only riding on the beat pulsing in his veins.

Somewhere in this restless ocean of sounds and smoothly forming movements within those, his concentration had been swept away too and before the boy could even realize the upcoming risk of his little world built on nothing but music and body control falling apart, the liquid filled with emotions had run through his fingers, disappearing into it's dark blue spring, clearing his abstracted sight to be capable of the reality again. Left by the inspirational feeling of complete numbness, his leg staggered in the air helpless, no pumping veins to whose rhythm to move any longer and ended up, marking the end of this mesmerising state with previous unpleasant noise.

As soon as the haze of passion had been gone from them, his eyes were holding the pressure to function like a mirror suddenly, to shelter all the dark end endless waters, located around his heart and distinguished by an unwavering silence, no storm being able to churn them up. So whenever someone tried to sink to the ground of these, where all his most severe secrets were buried under tons and tons of muddy shame, their surfaces would just throw back the light shining onto them, blinding such persons with their own bright souls in order for them not to see the darkness behind his own.

That's why they didn't see the hurt in Wooyoung's gaze, reflecting their sparkling, carefree laughter only so perfectly, while they were poking at him for the disorientated stumble, telling him how hilarious the outcome of his fading concentration had looked, not forgetting about a single detail nor the stupid comparisons to exaggerated called similar scenarios including much more incompetence than the boy had actually shown.

But he was trapped in the depths of his blue soul, surrounded by dark only that made him lose the entire reality, not a single light ray being seen at this place. He felt like an outsider regarding the real world, connected through his breath and voice maybe, which were like small bubbles of oxygen rising the endless way up to reach the atmosphere they belonged to. 

Wooyoung himself wasn't quite sure whether he belonged there too or not. He was just stuck inside his watery mindset that distanced him from the rest of the world without any sight of change ever being possible.

»That last move though!« Jongho shouted out as always, not having at least a second thought about his words. In fact it was relief he wanted to express, relief that the heavy pressure and tensioned air that had lasted from the practice's start were gone now, broken by a sign of humanity rarely seen inside this halls, which allowed them to let go of their strive for strict perfection and set free the bubbly blithe feeling inside their chests.»I actually believed you were going to rip your pants!«

Little did he know that his words got lost in between the dark and twisted sea of insecurity and self-doubt spiraling around Wooyoung's heart like an endless maze he sank deeper into with every single breath. But he wasn't drowning, no. He had already drowned a long long time ago and so, there wasn't any necessity to rescue him- What sense would be in rescuing someone dead beforehand after all?

But there was one person who couldn't be fooled by any reflection of his own sparkling light, most likely because there was no such thing to be reflected. Choi San, the one whose smile would always accompany the group wherever they were, usually bright enough to light up the whole room even when no one else found the strength to afford this simple yet so tiring movement of positivism, he was the one who seemed to be able to see right through the shining shield covering Wooyoung's eyes, almost as if those waters behind them weren't dark and muddy at all, but clear and predictable. 

He wouldn't hesitate to dive into his friend's oceanic soul, deeper than anyone was supposed to ever witness, and take him upwards, all the way up so that Wooyoung could finally breathe again once in a while, so that the feeling of drowning in his own suffocating thoughts would stop at least this one time.

As for now too, San's arm that slung around his shoulders was what kept him from sinking any further into his self-destructive thoughts. The way, the boy's hand brushed against his burning muscles felt like flames running through his veins, but it made him feel alive. The unbearable pain caused him to gasp for air and in the process he came to realize there was some, that he was able to breathe.

»Come on, all of us are exhausted and you know that. It's not like no one else has fucking tripped before.« He could feel the hot breath leaving San's mouth right on his skin as he called Jongho out, still not showing any sign of loosening his grip around Wooyoung's trembling body soon.

The youngest probably mumbled an apology, soft and carefully spoken, now that he was slightly aware of the way his words had sounded in the others' ears, but Wooyoung couldn't bring any attention to his speech, just flashed a smile towards him instead, because he was fine. He always was. But it were times like these only, with San's hands of burning aliveness running through his hair when he truly felt the sincerity in this expression.

He was fine, he was alive. But the hungering waves of doubts and hatred kept lingering inside the darkness of his heart, waiting for an opportunity to draw him into their hold again.

**Author's Note:**

> Uh,, hi? I've spent a whole lot of time on this site enjoying the work of other creators after kind of losing the interest in Wattpad. However I never lost the interest in writing itself. Hopefully I haven't made any massive grammatical mistakes and if so, please inform me about it kskshjs Thank you for reading!


End file.
